Trigger warning: rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, and sexual harassment
Today, we are going to talk about the daunting idea of rape culture. The dictionary defines rape culture as “a society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing or trivializing sexual assault and abuse.” Rape culture includes all the ways that different forms of aggressive and violent sexual behaviour are normalised, encouraged and even admired by society. This can be any society, no matter how safe or small it seems.
A rape culture exists when sexual violence is condoned and normalised through societal attitudes, actions, and structures.
‘Sexual violence’ is any kind of unwanted sexual act or activity including sexual harassment – including but not limited to sexually degrading comments or gestures, staring, or leering at someone’s body, sexual jokes or propositions, sexual content sent online, unwanted physical behaviour, displaying sexually explicit images, or catcalling – sexual assault, sexual abuse, or rape.
When I speak about ‘condoned and normalised’, I refer to the high rates of sexual violence acting as a clear example of sexual violence accepted into society, normalising something horrendous. In popular culture and the media there is a casual portrayal of coercive sexual behaviour.
‘Attitudes and actions’ concern everyday actions, seemingly insignificant attitudes which builds up to create a rape culture. Victim blaming and slut-shaming are huge problems here, but I shall come back to them later. Lad culture includes misogynistic objectification of women and pressure around sex, jokes can trivialise gender violence by jokes such as Jimmy Carr’s “What do 9/10 people enjoy? Gang rape.” These are not okay. Attitudes and actions also refer to a lack of education on consent, and therefore silencing victims, but also the objectification of women.
Lastly ‘structures’ is the feudal legal and institutional structures that prevent change or progression surrounding rape culture. For example, lack of funding, counselling, and support for the victims, poor reporting procedures which lead to low reporting rates and victims left unsupported and isolated, and a justice system that results in low conviction rates.
Rape culture affects every woman. Most women and girls limit their behaviour because of the existence of this culture, out of fear. Men, in general, do not. All it takes is a parent unknowingly introducing rape culture to their child, and the cycle continues.
Click here to read testimonies from victims of rape culture.
Victim-blaming and slut-shaming
Victim blaming is the degrading act that occurs when the victim(s) of a crime are held responsible. The blame can appear as negative social responses from legal, medical, and mental health professionals, but also from the media, family members, strangers on the street, and other acquaintances. Even if someone uses an excuse such as, “they were drunk”, “their clothes were short”, “I thought they liked me” or “they were walking alone”, the victim was not to blame. There is no excuse for such horrible behaviours.
Brandon University wrote “Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewellery you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defence, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault.” This accurately describes victim-blaming.
Slut-shaming may be considered as similar to victim-blaming in the condemnation of the victim. The main difference is that victim-blaming blames the victim for ‘provoking’ the attacker, whereas slut-shaming is based upon the victim’s ‘willing participation’. Slut-shaming creates a double standard between men and women.
School dress codes have recently been reformed in many high schools; on the basis that it perpetuates rape culture, and in turn slut-shaming and victim-blaming. Restricting what anyone wears is primarily outdated, but more relevantly sexist and patriarchal. Dress codes are undeniably mainly focused on the female body, shorts and skirts lengths, shoulders being on show, how clothes should “cover the body appropriately”. Girls and women should not be censored in what they wear; boys and men should be censored and educated in how they view and treat people based on clothes. If students are raised from ages 5-18 with the knowledge that girls should cover their bodies, this sexist idea can be dangerous to all of society. The negativity surrounding clothing not only affects how girls and women perceive themselves but condones how boys and men can view women as sexual commodities.
Consent
Consent is permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. It is necessary though to focus on the person’s state of mind in the context of all the relevant circumstances. When it comes to consent, there should be no blurred lines.
Often, we hear lines such as “They didn’t say no” or “We were drunk”.
Consent comes from a place of enthusiasm, don’t look for a no – look for an active yes. If someone agrees but does not seem sure, that is not consent. “I don’t know” or silence are not consent. Consent must be given without pressure, with no outside influences. You cannot give consent if you’re unconscious or in an altered mental state, such as under the influence of drugs or alcohol. You can consent to one thing and not another. What you agree to is entirely up to you.
Obtaining consent shows respect and is a step against rape culture. It eliminates the entitlement that a partner feels over the other, by demonstrating the knowledge that your body does not belong to someone else.
How to fight against rape culture
Avoid using language that objectifies or degrades women.
Speak out if you hear someone else making an offensive joke or trivialising rape – don’t laugh, educate them on why it’s wrong.
Give constructive input about why comments or jokes that perpetuate rape culture or sexism are not okay.
Evaluate and think critically about the media’s messages about women, men, relationships, sexuality, and rape culture.
Educate yourself and examine which aspects of your own beliefs, attitudes, and behaviours need to be challenged.
Recognize that people neither ask for nor deserve to be abused, harassed, assaulted, or raped, a step towards stopping victim-blaming and slut-shaming.
Support and believe survivors of sexual violence, as well as bring awareness and challenge victim-blaming statements.
Get help or act by directly intervening when you see someone taking advantage of a person who is not capable of giving consent.
Educate yourself on what it means to get and give consent.
Teach your children, friends, parents and peers about the myths and realities of sexual assault.
Redefine masculinity: self-reflection, community conversations, and artistic expression are just some tools to examine and redefine toxic masculinities with feminist principles.
If you witness sexual harassment at the workplace or in public places, expose the behaviour. Do not tolerate it.
Of course, these are only some examples. Even by reading this blog, you are educating yourself. Everyone must contribute to change the patriarchal society, and every time you stand up to someone, the rape culture is reduced.